oh god the rape fog is back!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
