you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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