Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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