im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Randomize
