it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
