Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
