I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
