We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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