Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
