Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
