Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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