Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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