I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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