yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
