Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
