Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
