Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
