you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
