The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
