you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
