She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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