She said her name was "party"
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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