But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
