This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
