real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The power of my boobs compel you
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
