Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Found the puke drawer
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
