...so i touched it.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
