I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
