I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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