I bet he comes in French.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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