I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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