he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My dick has a subreddit
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
try to milk me bitch
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