My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
