I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
