Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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