I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
