He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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