He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
