Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
