Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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