All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
