I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I had to cum in my sink.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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