I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
