so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
