Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
