I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
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