very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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