Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
