My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
