she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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